So, last night Matt and I had dinner together. I knew the girl he was talking to was supposed to call so I made sure he kept his phone on. If he wanted her badly enough to leave me, and if we're friends, he should be able to talk to her in front of me. She called. They talked for a short while and discussed going out, but didn't find a mutually convenient time--I know they will soon.

It will probably be a story like us. She'll wait until she's about to go out Saturday night and call him to see if he'd like to meet up. He and I are supposed to go to a movie that night so I wonder if he'll be there with me thinking he should be out with her. I hope not. I hope I at least mean that much.

We've decided to spend some time together at Christmas, but my fear is that after that, he'll be gone. I don't want that. I hate him lying to me, but I'm not strong enough yet for him to be out of my life completely. I don't think I'll ever be. I still am full of hope that it can work.

So, where does that leave me?
As always, broken hearted waiting for him to care as much as I do.

To all of you who have responded, it's evident to you that I'm doing this to myself. It's always easy to see it in someone else and think someone should just give up, but (cliche)....easier said than done.
I guess I'll keep choosing to stay and if I get hurt, I chose to do it to myself. I'm grown and should know better, but I don't.

I want to believe in him.